Brutally Betrayed.

It is a challenging article for me to write as it has pained me deeply. The wounds haven’t healed yet.

I will try to remain as positive as possible and coherent considering the situation.You may ask yourself, “Why is he writing about them? I need to clear my head of these severe and harrowing incidents.

I have lost my two best friends recently due to betrayals. Nearly 40 years of uninterrupted friendship. I would have never imagined that one day they would be gone. I will not go into details as I was about to (just erased about 400 words). My wounds are still too fresh and writing about these betrayals revived horrible feelings.

I will tell you that one was over money (lots of it by any standards) and the other was about trashing my reputation and humiliating me publicly.

Despite these two horrible reasons, they are not what hurt me the most. What troubles me the most is that through these losses I have, all my positive, fun memories altered negatively. It was like witnessing the disappearance of a multitude of positive emotions of about 40 years. Part of me died along with these betrayals.

I know that I mentioned that I wanted to remain positive, but it’s proving it to be more challenging than I thought.

I wish to share my experience with you and what it taught me. Analyzing the “whys” and the “hows” was a futile exercise for the most part except that friends like any other human of my generation always look at what can they get out of something and in this case friendship. Like we use to say in trading: “you’re only as good as your last trade.”

The last generation of baby boomers, which I belong to, was very venal and ruthless like in the movie “Wall Street.” It is a movie, and like any other movies things are exaggerated a bit, but it gives a good idea of the mindset during the 80’s and 90’s. Money was easily made and easily gone too.

What I have learned from this debacle is that, unlike a good wine, friendship does not bonify with age; also I have to pick my friends very carefully and look at all aspects of their lives and mine and see if there are compatibility and no competition. The blogging community has been so far the best sources of new friends, and I believe genuine as we share similar scars and face identical problems. We seem to have a natural bond. I don’t see it as entirely virtual as you are still exchanging experiences with another person at the other end and not a blot.

Despite our current situation, I have tried to find some silver lining in all these negatives and painful experiences. The financial disaster and these two betrayals were probably the most devasting of all misfortunes we had so far. I try to keep a positive outlook to survive as they’re no alternatives. We’re at the bottom of the barrel on all aspects; emotionally, health-wise, financially and socially. I’ll keep fighting and hope for some doors to open and have one, at least, that remains open.

Peace and serenity

Lawrence

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25 thoughts on “Brutally Betrayed.

  1. Betrayal is not something anyone should have to go through. This was beautifully put and I’m sorry that your friends betrayed you. I understand completely as my best friend betrayed me only a week ago and chose a group of people she hardly knew over me. Yes, I thought she would last but reality is harsh… Nevertheless, I’ve learned to take it lightly and move on but I guess forty years worth of friendship can’t compare. Betrayal is one of the things that made me very bitter and I have trust issues now, thanks to it. Even if I have accepted betrayal, I can’t trust people easily. Sometimes you can’t be positive about this and it’s okay. Peace

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you ever so kindly for your words of sympathy. They were like my brothers after so many years. I am sure that there is silver lining but I just don’t see it yet.
      Tonight I will start to look seriously at we have sent me. My initial reaction is to go for it! But I have to make sure that I have what it takes.
      Thank you again for caring so much.

      Like

      1. No worries, I can imagine that. When you’ve known someone for so long, you’re overcome by disappointment and sadness and sometimes it becomes too much to bear. I agree – when something bad happens these days, I assume it is for the best even if that particular event itself is negative (the silver lining, as you mentioned). However, it took me some time to develop that mindset and it wasn’t easy. That sounds great! I’m glad you decided to look into it. Your capabilities are for you to determine but I believe that you have what it takes to do not just this, but anything that will improve the quality of your life! I’m glad I could be of help to you.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I am saddened to read what you have gone through Lawrence it is not nice at all. I am glad you see the blogging community as friends. I am grateful for the kindness of many on this site, i include you in this list. So i will say that i am here anytime that you need me. You have my email address and urge you if you so wish to private message me anytime please do not hesitate to do so. Chin up my brother……………..

    Liked by 2 people

  3. For the first time in 36 year’s I am struggling to remain friend’s with my best friend. She is stagnant in life and it is effecting her children negatively. I can not simply stand by and watch so I’ve decided to remove myself. I can not express concern to her because she isn’t ready to hear what I have to say and also I fear my word’s will do more harm than good. It is difficult going through such loss. I hope that you and your family find strength during these trying times.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My family is not affected by it too much as they were my friends and not as much theirs. They see and feel my pain at times but I became with time a fairly decent actor and hide my true feelings. They already have enough on their plate by living with me. It will take few years to heal over this one as the cut in very deep. Thank you for caring.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling. During my graduation, I had a fight with my best friend of and a half years over a trivial issue. We ended up raising our voices. We didn’t talk to each other for more than four months. I was really sad. But I didn’t want to end my college life with bad memories, I decided to sort out things with her. But realtionships are like glass. They are brittle, once broken can’t be made like they were initially. We are just on talking terms now. I hope you find strenght to go through this phase. More power to you! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hi Lawrence. I understand your pain having been betrayed by my best friend of 14 years. That too on a dream holiday in India … saved for years. So much goodness tainted. Let them here. Let them say what they will, your heart speaks the truth. All is not lost. The loss of your friendship will be their biggest regret. My exfriend feels sorrow now. Chin up. You can do this. ♡

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for sharing your painful experience and for your kind words of support. I will get through this, this is one the hardest thing that has happened to me, but believe it or not, it is not by far the most traumatic one. To me, these individuals ceased to exist and I will let time heals me, I just have to go through the motion. Peace

      Liked by 2 people

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