Do we, bipolars, have a different perception of reality and the truth? Or is it just me?
It seems that I am never in sync with others’ perceptions on a large or small scale. With my immediate family, it can cause conflict and pain. It makes me feel that whenever we go through an experience being positive or negative, that my recollection is skewed from reality. It isn’t. I see things differently. Nobody is neither right or wrong It is just a different perspective, and it doesn’t make me wrong.
When I was working, it was an asset. My colleagues liked and appreciated as they took it as having a different way to process the information and analyzing problem, situation, and projects. They liked the fact that I was I looked at it from a different perspective. The workplace seemed to be the only place where this trait of character was welcomed.
With my family and friends, it is not so. We are seldom on the same page, creating all sort of misunderstanding and potential conflicts. For me, it is draining as I have to try to figure out through what I believe could be their thought process, but it is mission impossible. It’s like trying to read their mind which is impossible and an experience I don’t want to have. The last thing I want to know is what is on people’s mind.
Where do I go from here?
It is a fact that I don’t see life, professional and private, the same way as others and it is taking me nowhere outside the business world. The industry doesn’t want me anymore as I am considered too old and expensive. I have mentioned whenever I could that I would work for a fraction of what I used to earn, to have a job, but it doesn’t register, or it is not taking into account.
Over a year ago, I’ve started a small business. It hasn’t taken off as I was expecting. I have some clients but not enough to sustain a stable, decent income. It is a matter of fact that I am losing money with it. I will keep on going until I’ll have to file for bankruptcy, probably within the next three months unless there is change. I have to keep on fighting, and many things could happen within these three months.
I find it very ironic that the world wants and needs people who think outside the box, yet when they are confronted with people who think outside the box because they have just never been inside the box, they reject us. I am done trying to figure out why and how they treat us. My take is that they are only scared.
The world has a significant portion of mentally ill people who could strive in the corporate world as we are creative, artistically inclined, excellent in math and so much more. As I mentioned above, we were born outside the box, that’s what they need, but the stigmas are blocking them from giving us a chance.
Peace and serenity