Nothing has changed.

There wasn’t anything there for us back then, and it is still the same. Like my psychologist said, “we’re a victim of society,” I agree with her on the message, but dislike the word “victim.” I prefer looking at it this way; we’re not on the top of the priority list.

For some reasons, I remember the visit vividly to the doctor when I was precisely twelve years old. It is probably due to the way the visit unfolded. There wasn’t any listening to the heart, lungs and so on but instead they made me play some games. At one point they told to wait in the waiting room, I positioned myself to see what was going on and it is then that I saw my mother’s head drop as she received some bad news, this was entirely out of character.

Once we got out of the office I asked her what happened and why she dropped her head like that, she looked at me strangely. Then she said nothing wrong happened and that there was nothing to worry about.

It was much later, near the end of her life, when she finally explained what had happened during that infamous day. She told me that the doctor said to her that I was a super gifted child who was more prone to problems and sometimes develops or have disorders. She remembered being shocked and in disbelief. He told her my IQ which was extraordinarily high but didn’t remember the number which doesn’t matter to me as I don’t believe in them. She told me that she felt powerless as they were no school or programs for children like me. She was lost and afraid and didn’t know what to do. The doctor told her that typically we wouldn’t have good grades except on one or two topics where we’ll be above all expectations. We usually respond well to a professor or a topic and won’t care about the rest which bores us. The problem is that event on the topics we excel we’ll eventually lose interest, and the grades will suffer.

As far as I was concerned I always calculated what I needed to pass and reached just that, nothing more until my grandmother told that she would give me an insane amount of money at the end of the year if I passed with an honorable mention, which I did every year after that.

The gifted kids are brilliant, do exceptionally well in school and life and don’t have the baggage of the super-gifted one. The difference is technical and doesn’t interest me, but all I know is that you don’t want to have a super gifted child. My parents went through hell with me in my teenage years. Please read The Dark Side for more details.

Our problem is that one of our boys had been diagnosed as a super gifted child at the age of seven. The doctor explained a bit more in details the situation. His IQ was also through the roof, and intellectually he functioned at the age of sixteen years old. But emotionally it was the contrary as he behaved like a four years old child. Now he is a teenager, and we’re going through hell.

Nothing has changed from our days, in the mid-seventies and now. There are still no schools, programs or methodologies to deal with kids like these. Maybe there some abroad but not in France. They have made tremendous progress for children having learning disabilities or handicap but not for us. Maybe there aren’t enough children like mine to warrant allotting resources to establish a structure for them.

Peace and serenity

 

Lawrence

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Nothing has changed.

  1. I had an extremely gifted student and he was incredibly smart that I was afraid of saying something wrong to hurt his feelings. We had to sit next to him in class to remind him not to overthink and I was never told what his diagnosis was. I’m sorry that nothing has changed and I hope your child will eventually find his way.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Kids these days start their teen years early and it’s heartbreaking. Already, there are so many added pressures different than our days.
        Age 11 until 13/15 is the worst rebellious stage. I hope things will look up when he is older. You’re doing your best and therapy works wonderful, he just needs his time to figure things out. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I hope this helps, I tried it with someone in my life who was going through hell. She was the same age as your son, and it brought us closer…Mention to him often that you love him as he is and wouldn’t want to change a thing about him. You’d think with all the time and support we give them they’d already know that…
        But once I actually mentioned it few times, her rebellious stage lessened. Hang in there xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You’re Welcome!
        It’s one of the hardest thing you’ll ever pass through as a parent…I’m not a parent myself but it hurt so much to watch someone I adore and practically raised go through alot in her life.
        So I began researching alot of cases while writing my novel and I understand her point of view better. Sometimes we have to walk with them through this crazy and dark tunnel even if it’s the wrong path.
        You are doing great!! Hope this recharges you with alot of support and strength.

        Like

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