I have a huge issue that I’d like to share with you.
I need to work on a bad habit which probably comes from all my years of trading. Which is that I need to deal with everything right away.
This puts unnecessary stress on my daily life and raises my anxiety and, strangely, procrastination levels to new heights. It has to be worked on at once.
I don’t understand why I always put myself in this situation feeling obligated to deal with all matters, immediately when there is absolutely no reason to. I do not priorities; it’s “first come, first serve” without any evaluation of the importance nor the urgency of the matter.
My mother used to tell me to slow down, my psychiatrists told me repetitively to slow down, but I didn’t and still don’t listen, I always go on full speed ahead, (when I’m functional). Everything had to be done fast, even driving. Frankly, when I was younger, I have never noticed it this problem, until now that I am jobless and have time to reflect as to why do I have this necessity to handle life this way.
It is ludicrous on my part to believe that I can still handle problems the way I used to. I don’t know how to deal with this problem anymore, and I cannot find a way to tackle this serious issue. It is very negative at this stage of my life. I need to reprogram myself quickly as time is passing by so fast. But I don’t know how. I feel entirely destitute and powerless.
My low self-esteem is affected badly by this. I have to reprogram myself. I believe that I have the tools but aren’t really sure. I am looking for somebody trustworthy who could help me and guide me through this. What I need, is to have a mentor. Even at 53 I still believe that I need a mentor to show me a way to succeed in my new life. I have the perfect person, but I am afraid it won’t work due to his schedule, and frankly, I am also scared that he’ll say no and lose another friend.
I’ve tried so many ways to deals with this demon; by meditating plus other tools from my psychiatrists. Despite all of the above, I am not functioning properly. This important problem to solve as it is adding an unbelievable amount of negative stress and will solve many other linked to it. But, how?
Peace and serenity